Proverbs 13:3 Anyone who guards what he says guards his life. But anyone who speaks without thinking will be destroyed. Solid words of wisdom yet what hit me as funny was how many times do we or I want to destroy someone who does not think? I apologize if my sense of humor is misunderstood. Like many of you we are exposed to so many types of people and to put it nicely some of those people are not the smartest of individuals. We all face those moments when we can choose to lash out or we can choose to hold our tongues.
Lets face it this would be way to long if I broke down the nature of different personalities so I will throw myself on the chopping block to explain where I am coming from. After years of being the type who never spoke up and honestly was quite miserable in the process I had to learn to find a voice. While discovering this boldness that was buried underneath all the yuck it occurred to me there has to be a balance. One thing I was always good at was observing people and on many levels I admired the bold in others. Although as we all know men generally come across like jerks and women well we all know how they come across. Being bold does not always mean they think so this is where there has to be a balance.
It is safe to say I do not have a problem speaking up now, however knowing when and how to are key to not being destroyed as the scripture puts it. James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, pay attention to what I say. Everyone should be quick to listen. But they should be slow to speak. They should be slow to get angry.
If only I could master this scripture to the fullest! With most I have no problem listening and then processing how I want to reply that would be the most productive. Then there are those certain people that automatically ignite this irrational anger in us so we let all this fly out the window.
Since I am throwing myself under I shall give two example of this from my own personal experience. Recently, I had a phone call that started with irrational lashing out. For about two seconds I tried to remain calm, even asked if he would like to hear the whole story and not just the one side. His lack of thinking perpetuated this fire that made me want to destroy him. Yeah yeah I know that is not what the scripture was meaning for us to be doing the destroying. Okay I must confess my actual thought was "you are an idiot and you are pissing me off'," not very productive I know. Needless to say this lack of thinking on one persons part led to me not thinking on mine. See how important it is for everyone to think before they speak? That evening I was fuming, by next day I was like okay whatever he is ridiculous so I am not losing sleep over it. What have I learned? Hmmm do not answer your phone from irrational people because they make me irrational? Ummm well maybe more like this, if this were to happen again most importantly control how I react. I cannot control the lunacy and lack of thinking of idiots oh I mean some people, but we can control how we respond.
My next example which I handled much better for the exception of that fume remaining on a leash and not escaping my mouth that time. No need for a lot of details, but to sum it up an individual, another male in fact who has a regular problem of never thinking before he speaks. To be as nice as possible this individuals words never carry any weight with anyone. Sad to say, but there are a lot of those out there and they do not even see it. In this situation he attempted to throw someone else under the bus when everyone else knew it was his issue, his lack of follow through and his laziness that was the true issue. To be honest, he made a passive aggressive comment to make himself feel better. For what ever reason it seriously rubbed me the wrong way. Generally I can nod and act like things are no big deal because my philosophy with certain types is you cannot rationalize with some people, ever. I can honestly tell you I was boiling over and felt like my skin was on fire. Inside I was screaming "That's it! You are crazy! Shut your pie hole! etc etc" I generally try to avoid people that bring this out in me, it is safer for everyone that way. Unfortunately I was not so lucky this particular day. Miraculously somehow I managed to bite my lip, literally and it hurt! I knew nothing productive would come out of me reacting so I zipped it shut and saved probably several lives in the process. Score one for me!
Well we all have our issues and we all have those moments we have to resist the tongue. We also have those moments our tempers may get the better of us. Growth is about learning from those times. When faced with a person who is always so quick with their words generally speaking those people shut others down. Facebook is a perfect example of this. People always say did you see so in so's post or this or that. Ahhh no because all the short tempers, drama queens and completely non productive negativity has turned myself and others in the tunnel of avoidance. Like I said, we cannot change others, but we can control our reactions. What we can do for others is be real. Yes we will fall flat on our faces in failure at times, but if we are real and not arrogant about it that goes much farther than a big show to keep up appearances. Keep your heart in check, I know I joke about idiots and whatnot, but here is the thing in all things we have no idea what is going on with others so do not be to harsh. Most importantly pray! What else is more peaceful.
Colossians 2:2-3
My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ,
3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.
